Podcast Episode 23 - How I Leverage My Impact in My Business
Today, we are going to be discussing how I use my human design chart in business currently, and how I'm embodying it in business. I'm just going to be sharing a lot of the major things that I do with my chart that have been really helpful and impactful.
If you saw the carousel that I made recently on creating your own niche, this is the difference between trying to fit yourself into a box versus creating from an essence that is authentic to you. When you're trying to fit yourself into a box, you are looking at who is my ideal client, and who do I want to serve? You might be looking at what are my skills? What can I offer people? What's my experience up until now to create something that I can offer to other people?
When we look at human design, human design says nothing about career path. Human design says nothing about you should be a sixth-grade teacher, lawyer, or a doctor. It doesn't say anything like that. It gives you information about how you interact with people, how you exchange energy, and how you impact people. I think that one of the most powerful ways to understand interaction is going to be connection charts.
If two people are in a room together, interacting with each other, like you are now in my energy, you are in my energy as you're absorbing this information, essentially what happens is we will put the two charts on top of each other. Now, three or more, and we're going to move into a Penta chart, so that's going to be a slightly different situation, but because this is about centering yourself, this is about your impact and understanding yourself in interaction with others, we're not going to dive into Penta charts right now.
Right now, I just want to talk about the connection chart. When we have a connection chart, we are essentially slapping the two charts together and seeing what connects, what harmonizes, what’s the same, what's different. I think the best way to understand this is going to be the centers. Where you are defined, other people see you. Where you are defined, other people watch you. Where you are defined, you have a consistent way that you internally process energy, and when you are letting other people into your inner world, you're showing them how you move energy from one space to another. A center becomes defined when it's connected to another center through a channel, and that channel means I'm taking this one kind of energy, and I am consistently moving it somewhere else.
For me, with my channel 18-58, I have my root center defined; it connects to my splenic center, which means I consistently experience an internal sense of stress. My inner world has pressure. My inner world has an evolutionary drive with that defined root center. So, I want to grow; I want to change. I want to improve, and the way that I do that is going to be looking at this 18-58 channel, the channel of judgment, where I'm channeling that root center pressure and this pressure to drive, to grow, to move things forward, to push the needle. I'm going to take that, and I translate that into a very strategic plan, and I want to get better and better and better. My consistent way for growth happens when I'm able to see my mistakes, and I'm able to make corrections based off that.
That is one channel. That's one way that I consistently process energy, which means that my consistent source of information for growth is going to be when I am recognizing that something didn't go well, or something could be better. That feedback is extremely important for me with that channel 18-58. I want to see what's not going well, so that I can make improvements. When I see what's not going well, I'm able to correct it, and that's how I grow. That's how I improve. That's going to be a consistent thing that I do, and if somebody else is in my world and they do not have that channel defined, they're going to be able to watch and learn and see how I grow while using this particular channel.
Where we are defined is where people are going to be looking to us for specific answers. So, I have my root center defined, people come to me when they're ready to grow and to evolve, and because I talk about how feedback and my experience is what I've been able to look at in order to improve, people come to me when they're ready to look at what's not going right and make adjustments to correct it. I hear it from my clients all the time that working with me is like working with an energetic chiropractor. I have heard that so many times. There's nothing really wrong, but I'm able to go in and poke a couple of things, make a couple of things snap back into place, and suddenly you feel much better.
My root center is one of the main areas that I help people. We look at how they get to their next level, and we have to look at where they are in their current level, what's not working in this level, and what will not match this next version that they have in mind for themselves. We look at this. We correct their process. We correct their energy. We correct the minute things that they are showing up in, the teeny tiny ways that they could be aligned even deeper. That's one of the ways where I help people find alignment with their design, because I have learned how to discern whether something is actually out of alignment. If it actually needs to be improved, or if it's something that we can just accept.
Because the main lesson that I have learned from the 18-58 channel is that there's always something that could be better, but getting into a space where you're trying to be perfect and where you won't let yourself do something unless it is perfect, is not beneficial. Things are divine because they are real. Things are divine because they are present, because they are happening right now, not because they are perfect or imperfect. This quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupery puts it perfectly when they said: Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
What this means is perfection is reached when everything involved is beneficial. Everything involved enriches the conversation. Everything involved, all the systems that you've put into place, all the actions that you're taking, are beneficial. But then there's also this room for humanity and flexibility because no one is perfect, and we're never going to show up perfectly in business. If you come up against a challenge or come up against something that could be labeled as failure, the correct way, according to my 18-58, and the perfect way to manage that, is to see these lessons as opportunities for corrections.
That is one of the skills that I have fine-tuned as an entrepreneur: looking at what's not going well and being able to correct it, being able to perfect it, being able to learn from that feedback, and actually labeling it as feedback instead of a failure. If you're never learning, if you never feel like you are failing, if you never get that positive feedback or that feedback for what is and isn't working, you're not going to be able to grow. That is something that's really written inside of me with this particular channel. That's one of the things that I impact people with is this ability to grow while making corrections. Using the corrections and using that channel of judgment as the method for managing that root center pressure.
Because I have this root center pressure inside of my inner world, that is constantly saying you have to move faster. It's time to go. It's time to hustle. It's this physical stress that I feel when it's trying to push me to this next level. I have learned how to manage my stress against this ideal of perfection. When I'm stressed, previous habits of mine have been getting really controlling over things. I remember starting new semesters as a nursing student and wanting everything to be perfect. I would set up the perfect calendar. I would set up the perfect task list. I would set up all the reminders and all the things that I needed to make sure that it was a perfect semester, and along with that, I would usually add in workouts. I would start planning my workouts. Sometimes I would think I should be on a new diet right now too because I should be controlling this to get everything stressful done at the same time.
With this channel of perfection, it's very easy for me to see what the perfect way of managing all that stress is, and when I do feel stressed, I want to handle it perfectly. I want a plan. I want something very specific to hold onto, and if I can just hold onto and follow that perfect plan, then everything will work out. However, what I have learned is that sometimes it's time to push, and when it's time to push, that's an opportunity to make sure that you're taking care of yourself, but you don't need to be pushing yourself in every area of your life.
For example, if I am launching something, that's probably not the right time to also start a really intense new fitness program. I don't need to have all these perfect boxes, and I don't need to be a perfect person in every single area of my life to be good enough to evolve, and in order to be good enough to push one area of my life to the next level. Finding a work life balance is not necessarily about making sure that you are perfectly, evenly splitting your time and effort in every single area of your life. That perfection is actually going to be reached when you're allowing certain areas of your life to grow when it's aligned, and you're maintaining other areas in a healthy way.
When we're actually growing, if I am making a big jump in my business, I want to make sure that I have my bare minimum taken care of and everything else. Which means cleaning the house once a week or having my routines in place for making sure that everything outside of my business is taken care of but isn't going to be something that is moving forward. For example, if we're launching something and if I'm really focused on business, I may not be starting a new house project. I may not decide to paint my living room at that particular time or redecorate a specific area of the house. I might, but I know that if I have a lot of stress and pressure, I want it to be focused. Because if I try and focus it everywhere, I'm not going to have enough energy to be making the corrections that are going to make themselves present and make themselves known in the area that needs growth. I find work life balance is finding a focal point and allowing yourself to evolve that focal point without thinking that you need to evolve absolutely everything. That was a little deep dive into the 18-58 channel and that really specific area. Now, I'm going to kind of step back into defined versus undefined centers and the connection chart.
With this connection chart, I like to think of the undefined centers as windows. Big, beautiful glassy windows that you can see through, and you get to watch everything that's happening on the street in that particular window, in that particular direction. I have my G center undefined, so I have this window in my internal world that I look out and I people watch. I watch people in their identity. I watch people in who they are in the direction that they're going in, how much they love themselves. I learn about love. I learn about direction. I learn about leadership. I learn about influence. I learn about identity through watching other people. My observations, what I take in from those windows and what I'm looking at through this window, I'm going to take that and do something with it in my definition.
Our undefined energy is where we see things from other people. It's where we take in the world around us. It's where we receive. It’s also where we are here to learn. That is a topic that you are here to explore in this lifetime. That is something that you are here to master because you're going to be able to see people doing it and expressing that particular theme in low frequencies and in high frequencies and in really different frequencies. You're going to see them process it in many different ways.
So, I see people who are magnetic, and their identity is really related to the work that they do. I see people where their identity is really rooted in getting the things that they want, in their desires, in pushing themselves to be their next level. I see people whose identity is really caught up in how they're expressing themselves, how they're influencing other people with who they are. I can see all these different ways for how identity work shows up for different people and how different people identify. I can tell when somebody is in alignment with their identity, or if they're not in alignment with their identity, because I've been able to witness it in so many different people.
When I think about my impact, I like to first think about my coaching clients and the people who are directly in interaction with my energy, just one on one in this connection. In this connection chart, in a coaching dynamic, you're going to be able to see and hold space for people to figure things out in the undefined energy. What you're going to be able to do in your defined energy is show people how you process things.
I have a defined emotional center. Specifically with this channel, I turn emotionality into this energy of willpower and commitment to a decision. I have to commit to the decisions that I make. I can't just leave it out there and leave it in emotional limbo. I have to commit to the decisions that I make. If people are coming into my energy, it doesn't matter if they're emotionally defined or not, they will feel my energy. Of course, if they are emotionally defined, let's say they have a channel that connects to their throat center, I'm going to encourage them to process that energy in a way where it's being expressed through their throat center. I'm going to push them into alignment with their design but being in my energy means that you're going to commit to decisions, because what you have access to when you're in my energy is 37-40 channel, which turns emotionality into commitment. It says, "This is what's fair. This is what's just. This is the best decision for everyone involved," and now we're going to commit to it and use our willpower and use our resolve to make it happen. That's the aligned energy with the emotional center.
When people are in my space, whether they're emotionally defined or not, they're going to find themselves sorting through something, feeling through specific decisions, learning how to process emotionality and move through it, so that they can come to a moment of clarity and commit to whatever decision it is that they're making. That is something that I recognize with every single one of my clients. If they're in my energy, I want to show them how to commit to the decisions that they've made. Regardless of if they have their emotional center defined, or if their emotional center is defined in a different way, if they don't have that channel or if they do have that channel. Literally it doesn't matter what your definition is. If we both have that channel, good. My process is also going to work for you, and I can model how to commit to specific decisions when you make them. I can model talking about something, processing something out loud, and then I can ask you specific questions so that you can commit to those specific decisions.
When people are in my space, I know that if I'm bringing them through my definition, when we're talking about emotionality, when we're diving into how they feel, when we're diving into situations where there isn't clarity, but a decision is necessary, I know that being in my space, we're going to unpack it, we're going to talk about how we feel, we're going to accept how we feel. Then from there, we're going to look for a decision to commit to. We're going to look for a plan. We're going to look for something specific that we can put our energy behind and use our resolve and use our willpower for.
I know that anybody who comes into my space, my goal when we're talking about and when we're processing emotions is to do exactly what I do, and to make that feel complete, which is find the decisions, find the answer through emotional processing. We're not in our head centers looking for the answers, but allowing room for that emotionality to become present, and allowing that emotionality to come through and in an honest expression, and then we're going to commit to a decision and use all that emotional energy and willpower to back the decision and take very confident action.
That's another way that I know people are coming into my space because they have emotional confusion. They have emotions that they're not sure how to process. They have emotions that are getting in the way or interfering with their sense of clarity, their sense of certainty, and that is something that's going to pull them away from trusting themselves, and trusting their actions, and trusting alignment. My job is to help make them commit to the decisions that they make from a healthy and aligned space.
Anyone with an undefined emotional center, you still experience emotionality. Your emotionality can still cloud your clarity in the moment. Let's say you're a sacral authority, yes, in the moment you're supposed to have a yes or no answer, however, if your conditioning in your emotional center is present, just because the emotional center isn't always there, the emotional center runs the decision making regardless of definition. Even if you're not an emotional authority, if you're experiencing emotionally charged energy, you might not be able to tap into your sacral. You might not be able to hear your splenic center. You might have to take a day to sort through your emotional clarity before you're able to actually tune into that authority and that decision making process. Because the emotional center will cloud clarity, and if it's clouding your clarity, but it's energy that is not yours, it's energy you are watching, you need to learn how to process that.
I get to teach that process. Everyone has access to everything in the chart. Everyone can do all the skills. We can use the 11-56 for example. I don't have the 11 or the 56 defined in my chart. That doesn't mean that I'm not able to share ideas and enrich a conversation with my storytelling abilities. It may be inconsistent for me, but that's still something that I can do, I have the skill for, I have the potential for. I just might not feel very comfortable in that space all the time. That's really what the undefined means is it's something that you watch other people do, and you might feel a little bit of self-consciousness around, because you're not sure exactly how to do it yourself.
We have our definition. We have the things that we are really good at, and in order to bring people through your process, you want to make sure that those channels are healthy. You want to make sure that you are energetically maintaining it yourself. I need to be a role model. As a 6/2, I have to be a role model and the embodiment of what I teach for it to land. That means that if I am talking clients through emotional decisions, that also means that I can't be avoiding my own emotions. That also means that I have to be committing to and dedicating my energy to the decisions that I am making when I'm making them. I have to do that. I have to make sure that if I'm moving forwards, if I'm using my ambition, if I am processing stress, I'm doing it in a healthy way. I'm not holding myself to extreme standards of perfectionism, I'm doing it in a healthy way that helps me to show up in my best energy.
So, your defined energy is where you impact people. My social media content is created from my definition. A lot of that is I have two channels in my throat center. I have a channel between my ajna center and my throat center, which means I'm sharing my perspective, and my perspective, the way that I see things, the way that I understand the world, is something that I want to express consistently and something that I want to share. I have an outlet for sharing my perspectives. I use my social media. I use my courses. I use my coaching calls. I use all the content that I create. My business is a way for me to process energy consistently, and it keeps my mind clear, because for me to process a topic, I make a post on. For me to get clarity on something, I'll mess around with the graphics until it fits together. I'm like, "There it is. There's the idea. I understand it even better now."
I have the 34-20 channel. That's something where there's a response, and the response wants to immediately be turned into an action, and so I respond to things. I respond to questions. I respond to content ideas. I generate a lot of energy that wants to be expressed through my throat center. I know that my work is going to be very vocal. My expression, my throat center, is really important to me, and I want to make sure that I am expressing myself authentically. I'm not worried about the way that I'm expressing myself, and when I do that, I'm able to model what authentic expression looks like for other people.
People are going to come to me because I'm loud. People are going to come to me because I'm expressing myself in a very authentic way, and people can feel that. That's why my content resonates. That's why my content has such a unique flare. Even though dozens of people out there do carousel on human design, and dozens of people out there talk about human design in business, even people that I've certified in my methods can talk about this, but no one sounds exactly like me. I have not created copycat versions of me by sharing my processes, I've enriched, and I have empowered individuality, because that's a big part of who I am.
I have the 34 and the 20 in my conscious sun and my earth placements. This is integration circuitry. This is about initiating yourself into a new level. This is about doing things your own way. The biggest part of my energy, my life's work, is empowering people to be their own role model. Empowering people to embody it for themselves. Empowering people to trust that they know the answers inside of them and teaching them how to access those, so that they don't have to rely on me, so that I don't have to be the role model for everything, so that I don't have to be the hero who's going to have the answers and who's going to be able to solve all your problems. I want people to embody their design, so that I don't have to tell them the answers, so that I don't have to be the hero, so that I don't have to step in and try and figure out the solution for everything. The way that I do that is by operating in my definition.
My business is the main outlet for me to be the most me and my most authentic self. What's interesting is I'm in a new space where I'm wanting to create even more work-life balance. What I mean by that is I have balance, but I find myself working more, and I find myself letting go of and not prioritizing life things, if something really big in business comes up. For me, I'm trying to create a balance there on a little bit deeper of level, because I'm recognizing that there's an area for improvement. There's an area for correction, and so I'm correcting that right now.
That happens because business has been the main area of experimentation with human design for me. I've been playing with my design and business at a far deeper level than I have in my personal life. I think it's because business is such a challenge. Business brings up our shadows. Business triggers us. Business puts us in uncomfortable and new situations constantly, and so of course, that's going to encourage us to look at our shadows. Of course, that's going to encourage us to look at our design a little bit deeper and see if we're doing the best that we can do.
My business is a space that challenges me to be the best me, and the work that I do on my team is very much designed around my gifts. I have the emotional center defined. Most of my team are sacral authorities. We have one other emotional definition, and she has the same channel as me. We go back and forth trying to make big decisions. I talk to her about all the emotional things that I'm working through. I bring it to the whole group chat sometimes when I need a sacral response, and I want to get immediate feedback, where I'm like, “Okay, this is what I'm feeling. I think that this is the right answer, but what are you thinking?” I can get that sacral intuition from those particular people, but me and this other emotionally defined generator, we process our emotions together. We talk about it a little bit more, honestly, because she gets it, and we can both have that conversation.
I make the decisions in my business because I have the emotional definition, I ask for clarity. I ask for time, I asked for it yesterday. I said, "Hey, I know that we've taken action on this one thing. I'm not ready to share it yet. I need to wait a little bit longer before I have this piece of information before this answer is clear. Then once that's clear, then we can share this information with other people." I had to ask for more time, like, "Hey, I know that we did the work on that, I'm not quite ready to share it, so we're not sharing it yet."
For me, I'm doing that because in the past, I have said yes to things that were not aligned. I have said yes to things because it was ready, because it was available, even though I wasn’t sure about it. I fully trust my emotional decision to run the show, and as soon as I decide, my entire team can commit to that decision with me. We're able to commit to it fully. We're able to back it with all our energy. We're able to respond to it with our full capacity because I give myself the time to ride that emotional wave. The emotional wave and that particular clarity, that channel also deals with community. It's the channel of community, and it's dealing with balancing personal desires and emotionality. It's a big part of my personality to want to find fair answers, and to want to balance individual desires with collective needs and with tribal needs. What I do in this channel is I want to make sure that everything is fair, and that's something that's definitely showing up in my business.
But the other ways that my business is an outlet for my expression is I'm a creative person, and I'm a very responsive person. My sacral center is defined directly to my throat, which means I have the energy to create things and to generate things quickly, and I can get into this little vortex where I forget time. I lose all sense of awareness. I forget that the world outside of whatever it is that I'm working on exists, and I can get into this very deep, creative flow state with that channel. So, I have a team that is supportive of, and they understand my process. I don't do well with a little bit every single day. I usually do well with I'm going to wait until I have the emotional clarity, until it's time to respond, and then I'll be able to jump in and get a lot done.
The way that I work, and the way that I show up for work, is in big bursts, rather than a little bit every single day. Me knowing that about myself has allowed me to create a schedule that allows me to go in when I'm ready to. I have a lot of free time, and so if I need that free time to rest, if I need that free time to work on me, I can use it for that. If I'm feeling that urge to jump into work and to be really creative for five, six hours, I can also do that if it's aligned at that. My team knows that if I'm not in a creative energy, I'm not creating, so we're flexible with that. We've created flexibility so that I can respond and create in an aligned way.
I have an outlet for sharing my ideas and sharing my perspectives with all the social media content that I get to create and the courses that I create. It's an outlet for me to be in alignment. What I mean by an outlet for me to be in alignment is it's a constant invitation. It's a constant situation for me to share my opinions, share my perspectives. I get dozens of invitations for how I see things. I get more invitations than I want to accept, and I get to say no to things. That means I only get to say yes to things that are really actually exciting in the invitations to share my perspective when I want to share my perspective and when I have something to say.
That has also meant that I had to learn when to say something and when not to say something. I've had to learn how to discern essentially when it's the correct time for me to be sharing something in detail, and when it feels aligned for me to be expressing something, an opinion, or my perspective, and that means that I don't have to have an opinion on everything. Yes, I have lots and lots of opinions. I'm a very opinionated person. I have gate 17 three times in my chart as my unconscious Saturn and both of my south nodes, so I am familiar with the energy of being strong-headed and having very strong opinions. But I'm not going to form an opinion on something, just to have an opinion. I'm only going to form opinions on things that genuinely matter to me, and that have come together in an authentic way. I'm not going to force an opinion just to have it.
When I do get invitations, I'm think what's my perspective on this? If I don't care, if I don't have a perspective on it, if it's not an invitation that feels good to me to accept, I say, "I don't have an opinion on that. I don't know the answer to that," or I just do not respond to people. If they ask me questions that are overstepping a boundary, I don't respond, and that's perfectly okay with me. I know that some people have a rule where they respond to absolutely everybody in their business, but for me, that's a rule that doesn't work for me. That is me still giving energy, and I will want to say something really nice, and I'll want to make sure I'm not disappointing people by not answering a very specific question that they have. But if they're asking me a question, let's say in my DMs, and they're asking, "Hey, what's your interpretation of this particular gate?" Or, "You have this defined, but I have it like this, how does it work for me?" I don't have to answer all those questions, and I do not answer all those questions. That's a boundary that I've had to put in place, but that was a decision that I had to commit to around do I answer absolutely everybody, or do I not? Because I was feeling guilty around answering everybody.
My business is an outlet for my design to show up. It is an outlet for me to be the most me, and how I use it right now to navigate my life is I play a game with the universe. I am constantly in response with the universe. This is a turn-based game. The universe goes, then I go, then I go, and the universe goes; we go back and forth. It's kind of a chicken and the egg situation where I don't know who went first, but it's either my turn or it's the universe's turn. If I'm waiting around, it usually means it's my turn. What I mean by this is with the aura type, being a generator, mani gen, what I do is I recognize that overall, I am responding. I am responding to the universe. I'm responding to the things that are in front of me, but the things that I can do in response, that's my definition.
In my definition, I can offer invitations to people. I can respond. I can share a perspective. I can make a correction. I can jump in and take action. I have all these gifts within my design that are how I can respond. It's not just, I'm going to respond to this, we don't talk about how do you respond? You respond with action. You respond with a decision. You respond with a boundary. You respond with a yes or a no.
When I'm responding to the universe, let's say something big recently that I responded to was I had that idea for SSBA. We launched this incredible program. We put together a whole 12 month package. We have a curriculum involved; everything was going well. The feedback that I got was it was not the aligned time, and so I responded to that with not saying it was a failure, seeing it as something that I can correct. I responded to it with we're opening SSCC, because that's what people were asking about when I was opening SSBA, the business academy, was people were wanting that foundation. We're opening a different container. As a team, we're responding in a different way because that's the next aligned step for us.
How I respond in the moment though is something I want to discuss. For me, I'm going to teach you this because this is my decision making process, it's that if I'm going to make a decision, I'm going to commit to that decision. The decision that I make has to be a standard and not an expectation. When I'm making a decision, I am making a decision around what I can control. I'm not making a decision based on things that are externally, and this is something that shows up when people are trying to manifest as well. We have expectations versus standards.
When I am setting a standard, when I'm committing to a decision, this also brings in the surrender chart that we talked about a while ago, I want to make sure that the decision that I'm making is something that I have control over. When I committed to launching SSCC this next round, my commitment was that I'm going to show up. I'm going to do my part. I'm going to open the cart. I'm going to create the content. I'm going to make the podcast episodes. I'm going to open the container. I'm going to make the decisions around the bonuses that we're adding. I'm going to do all of that. I did not make a decision around how many people I'm supporting in this contain. I did not make a decision around this is specifically what I'm receiving, because I want to make a decision around the standard that I have for me. When I make a decision, I'm deciding that this is the next step for me. This is my commitment, and this is something that I have control over.
Let's talk about standards versus expectations, specifically in the conversation around manifestation. When we are manifesting, a lot of people are trying to manifest things from their undefined energy. I did this a lot myself; of course, I've done it myself as well. The things that we have in our undefined energy, or how the conditioning shows up, is this essence of once I have this, then I'll be good enough. What we do is we tend to put our desires and the things that we're trying to manifest on the other side of our non-self. What this means is, for me, with that undefined G center, a lot of my desires were, if I make a lot of money, people will love me. If I'm a really successful business owner, if I'm over giving, if I over deliver, if I give way more than people are expecting from me, then they'll love me. Then people will see the value of my work; they will cherish what it is that I do, and I will be known for something. I can be really, really loved by everyone. A lot of my desire for success in business, especially in the beginning, was coming from the space of, I want to do something that's worth loving. Look at me and see that I am somebody worth loving.
My conditioning was, and how I conditioned myself was, I thought that I had to be the embodiment of the version of me who already had the desire. I tried to embody that identity. Things like what's the next level version of yourself? How would they respond to this? Questions like that don't always work for me, because me trying to create an identity doesn't work. For me, for the longest time, when I was out of alignment with my desires and my manifestations, it was around, I was trying to be the version of myself who already had the thing, but I was trying to rely on my non-self energy in order to get it.
You see how that happens? I was saying I have to embody the version of me who has it. I have to have a consistent identity in how I show up in all of my actions, then maybe if I can embody it well enough, then the money will come in, then the clients will come in, then I will be able to serve people, and then I will be able to share the message that I have. That never worked. It didn't work for me because what I was craving was love. What I was craving was a sense of knowing that I was good enough. What I was craving was an identity where your work is valuable, and so I was trying to use my work as an identity, essentially.
I was identifying with my work a little bit too much. I was putting too much pressure on myself to be this version of myself, and to be a consistent identity when that's something that's inconsistent for me. I was also searching for if I could just find my purpose, what is the thing that I am meant to do? Who am I meant to be? Once I know that, then I'll know the direction that I'm going in, when really my direction is inconsistent. I'm going to shift; I'm going to change. I'm going to go in different directions at different times, and that's aligned for me.
When it comes to manifestation, when we set expectations, we're setting expectations around what we receive, and where we receive is actually in our undefined energy. I have a defined ego. I have strong desires. I have the commitment and the willpower to dedicate myself to doing the things that I want to do. I have resolve. I'm going to use my resolve to commit to the decisions that I'm making, but I receive through my identity center. I receive being the person who did that thing. I receive in my open G center.
With that center being open, I don't have to worry about being the version of me who is this seven, eight figure business owner. I don't have to figure out who she is. I make the commitment to the actions that I am going to take to doing my part, to moving forward to my desire. My desires are to be a very impactful person, to change the lives of as many people as I possibly can. I have really strong opinions and ideas and perspectives, and so I feel like I have the answers, and I want to share those opinions. I want to share those perspectives because the perspectives that I have are powerful for people. They change lives. They heal. We've done incredible, incredible work. I get to receive that identity through the experience, but my commitment is not to the identity; my commitment is to my actions.
We have standards versus expectations. If you're expecting something, you're probably in your undefinition. If you're in the undefined energy, you're putting the pressure on the situation to give you what you want or what you don't want, and you're not coming at it from an empowered space. Coming at it from an empowered energy is, we have this art of surrender, this art of detachment, where you are not here to do that thing. You get to let go of it and see what happens. You get to be surprised.
So, I no longer try and figure out who the next level version of me is. I get to be surprised by who I become in the process. I get to be surprised by who I am and who I become as I respond to things, as I make corrections, as I commit to my decisions, and as I share my perspectives. When I am making a decision around the next level version of myself, or when I'm manifesting, or when I am stepping into something new, I am making the commitment, just showing up inauthenticity for me. I'm saying these are the things that I'm going to do, but I'm not expecting anything else to happen. I'm not expecting anything else to show up. I'm not putting pressure on the results, because I'm showing up in alignment.
For me, showing up in alignment is creating satisfying content. I love content creation. I love it. I will play late at night and make the graphics and just play around with the graphic design and the visuals. It's art to me. All the collages that we've been doing lately; it's art and I love it. I love messing around with the images. I love photography and taking pictures myself. It's been really fun for me. This is a creative outlet where I get to create something. On top of that, I get to add in all this really detailed information, that is this creation. That is beautiful, and it's informational and very detailed.
That's something that I did in nursing school with my notes. I still have a lot of my handwritten notes because they are so pretty. For me, they are artwork, and I love them. My drug cards from nursing school are some of the prettiest things that I've ever created. Of course, I have all of them. Is it very detailed information about specific medications? Yes, but I'm still keeping them because they're pretty, and I really enjoy creating them, and I'm satisfied with them, even though I never really used them. I used them in nursing school. I used them for some help with memorization, but I never really used that information as a nurse, and it doesn't matter. I still created that product, and I still created those cards, and I still love them.
When my content is something that I love, my content is something that I create, my content is artwork, it supports me in my design tremendously. I'm no longer worried about did this piece of content lead to me being this next level version of myself. Did I get to receive this? Did I get the money that I wanted in exchange? That doesn't matter. I'm in alignment because I don't have an expectation. I'm in alignment because I have this commitment with the universe. I'm going to do my part, and you do yours. I know kind of the general direction I want to go. I know that I want to be making improvements. I know that I have an internal sense of drive that's going to be pushing me to the next level consistently, and I'm going to do what I love. I'm going to create the things that I want to create, and I trust that the money's going to come in when the money comes in, and in the ways that the money comes in, but I don't have to figure it out, and I don't have to be a specific version of myself in order for it to come in.
So, I would look at the ways that you're trying to manifest in your current life, and in your current business, and see what are you actually trying to get out of it? Because if you're trying to get, if you say that you want money, why do you want money? That's usually going to point at one of your non-self themes, and also, what are you trying to do? What is the key that you're saying? What is that block where you're saying, if I could just do this, then the manifestation would come in? Because that judgment and whatever you're judging yourself for in that of if I can just embody the identity, if I can just hold the frequency, if I can just prove my value, if I could just find the right words and express myself and make people understand me, whatever it is, whatever that is, that's your non-self theme showing up and pulling you out of alignment.
Let’s say you have an undefined head center and ajna center, and you're searching for certainty. You're saying that I want to be a thought leader, and I have to be absolutely certain in every single perspective that I have. You're never going to be fully certain in those perspectives. Even if you're making money based on your perspectives, there's a potential for you to think, “Oh, my God, I'm not certain in this. Is this something that can continue to make money?” You will doubt your perspectives regardless. The skill is not necessarily in finding a perspective that you're certain in. It's how do you manage your uncertainty, and how do you receive money while having this uncertainty in your experience, and how do you not attach the two?
Recapping, I respond to the next steps for myself in business. I play with the universe in this turn-based game, where it goes, I go next. What I wanted to say about that is I'm always looking at the next step. I'm always looking at what can I do in this moment to give myself something even better to respond to? I'm building my next response. What that means is if there's a boundary that is coming up, am I okay with saying "It doesn't really matter this time? I'll let it slide this time, but eventually I will set that boundary." That's me not committing to my decisions. That's me being flaky, and that's me not doing my part. My part is to commit to my decision. My part is to show up and say, "This is what I'm doing, regardless of what happens," and so that's what I have to do.
But when I make decisions, I'm thinking about the future. What I do right now is going to impact what I get to respond to next. So, if I have an opportunity to set a boundary, I want to set that boundary now. Regardless of if it's uncomfortable. Regardless of if I'm like, "No, okay. This might be a little bit weird, or I'm not really ready for this conversation," I can either do it then, or I can compromise in that moment and respond with the answer that is, if I'm saying yes to something that's actually a no, I can say yes to the thing that's actually a no, and then eventually I'm going to have to learn this pattern of only saying yes to things that are a yes in the future. If I say yes to something that's not aligned for me right now, I'm like, "It's okay. I'll tolerate it right now. This is acceptable," I'm setting that standard energetically, if this is what I'm available for, so of course, I'm not going to be surprised when someone else tests that boundary very soon. Then I'm going to feel guilty around, "Oh, I let someone else slide, so I should let this person slide as well," and that's not aligned for me, and that's not aligned for someone else involved.
The moment that you have an opportunity is the moment that you want to take it. If you have an opportunity to set a boundary, set it now. Don't let yourself wait until it happens again and happens again and happens again. Don't say, "I'm going to let this slide, and then I'm going to just pretend and assume that it's never going to happen again, and no one after this point is going to test this boundary." The universe is going to test your boundary through other people, until it has clarity around what your boundaries are. It's going to give you things, in your undefined energy, so it can say, are you this kind of person? I can say, "No, I don't want to be that kind of person. I want to commit to this." I want to commit to my decisions. I want to commit to my perspectives. I want to commit to the things that I can do.
You have to commit to your decisions. You have to commit to your boundaries, and when the opportunity is made present, you take that action, so that the next time you do it it’ll be responding from a place of already having set that boundary. That's how you push the needle. That's how you move a step forward. That's how you respond. Not, “Oh, I'm going to let myself be a victim of the situation. I'm going to say what I don't want in this moment is fine, and then eventually, maybe this problem will go away.” It doesn't go away until you decide it goes away. It doesn't go away until you commit to it going away. What you can commit to is I will not accept. You can reject things. I will not accept that. You can say no to things. You can say yes to things. What are you open to receiving? What do you want to be receiving, and what are the boundaries that you can put in place to match that frequency? To match that? How can you show up in only your defined energy, and trust that you can surrender, and you can receive in that undefined energy?
I veered little bit off topic, but I think that it was still exactly what needed to come through. Again, this is me in my design, trusting it, not having a process, responding to things as they come through, and allowing my ideas and perspectives to be shared. But that is what I have for you!
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