We're going to talk about applying human design, and I'm actually going to take you through the process of what I am currently doing with my design or how I am taking a piece of information and applying it currently.
I have been getting this nudge for the past couple of months to focus on the variables in my human design. If you're not familiar with what the variables are, it's the entire system that is underneath the four arrows. With the move that I had a couple of months ago, dynamics changing in my relationship and location, environment differences work challenges, and everything that has been changing lately, I've been coming back to my design to create those foundational habits and create that sense of consistency and routine in my life that keeps me really, really grounded. So of course, I talk so much about coming back to center and coming back to who you are in the moment when you are in a moment where you're feeling overwhelmed, where you're feeling like things are going chaotically.
I have been really focusing on the variables because the variables talk about your environment. They talk about your perspective. They talk about what you should be looking at. They talk about how you take in things, how you interact with life, and how you digest food. A lot of the things in the variables are related to taking care of yourself and creating this personal transformation. When you are embodying the variables, you go through the four transformations.
I've studied the variables many times. I've printed out all the lecture notes that I can find on the internet, and I've highlighted and annotated them. It’s still a system that I feel like is on the edges of my understanding. What I mean by this is I have information that I'm learning that I know, and then there's information that I really truly understand, and I can go anywhere with it. With the variables, it still feels like I'm primarily relying on memorization, and when I go back to think about a specific topic in the variables, I feel like I'm speaking from a textbook. It's almost like I just read the content, and then I'm making a presentation on it for a class. It's there, but it's just not quite the way that I want it to be. It's not the embodied understanding that I have wanted it to be.
I've played with my environment. I have played with my digestion. I've played with all the variables content in real life, but it hasn't quite resonated and hasn't quite clicked yet. It just tells me that there's another evolution. There's another step. There's another layer here for me, and I'm going to go a little bit deeper in this area. What would you know? Right now, I have the perfect opportunity to do so with this new environment change and with all of the personal life changes that are coming with a big change, like environment.
I am very, very environment focused. There are so many aspects of my chart that say my environment is extremely important to me, and it is. It's something that's very important to me. When I was living on my Uranus line in my astrocartography chart for six years, it was very chaotic. It was actually pretty damaging for my nervous system, because there was a lot of this rebirth, challenge, rebirth, challenge, destroy everything, burn it to the ground, build it back up again in a new way, learn lessons the hard way energy that I was experiencing for the last six years.
The first thing that I did when I was getting this nudge to go back into the variables and go back into really focusing on these daily routines and daily practices that support me, make me feel good, and make me feel like I'm operating in my best, I wanted information from other people. I was looking for other people's perspectives. This is usually my process. As soon as I decide that it's time, the exact resource, or people, that I need just pops up into my world. That's just how everything has worked. That's how I've hired my team. That's how I have brought in my relationship. That's how I've made friends. I make a decision, and then the perfect person, who happens to also be the resource that I am looking for, comes into my world.
I set the intention that I was going to learn a little bit more about variables. I was going to get a reading. I was going to do a session. I was going to do something with the variables, and Vaness Henry popped up in my inbox saying that this was the last chance to get one of her variables readings. I laughed to myself, of course, and then I purchased the reading, because that's exactly what I was looking for.
I fully believe in that quote, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Everything that I have been looking for shows up in my world, and if you need proof, if you need an example, if you need permission for that, to be true for you as well, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. You don't have to look for answers. You don't have to look for mentors. The right people will show up for you when you are ready for your next step. I truly believe that.
This information popped up for me, and I am really excited to get into this reading. I love Vaness. I love her energy and her interpretations. She's excited to do the reading, and I receive it. My process with learning human design and applying it is I'm going to go through it as much as I want to. I'm going to go through it as much as it feels good to me. Moments after I open the reading, I am listening to it already. I listened to it while I was cooking dinner. I had my notebook out, and I was taking some notes, just the main things that stood out to me.
This is kind of just my 6/2 process, but the first time I go through anything, I'm going to look at what naturally stands out to me. What are the main important things? Then I'll go back through, and I'll go into detail a little bit more. But I just go based off of that sacral, “Ooh, that's exciting. Ooh, that's exciting. Ooh, that's exciting.” I just look for the really big bright topics that pop out for me.
I listened to the recording that she gave. She also gave the transcript, which was perfect because I'm both audio and a visual learner. I get this information, and I am writing it in my journal. I write down my notes for the first time, and then I go back through the next day, and I started reading through the transcripts and taking more detailed notes. In the span of four days, I've listened to it once through, and I have started going through the transcript. I'm about halfway through the transcript currently, taking more detailed notes, and then I listened to it again yesterday from a different perspective while I was cleaning. I'm probably going to go back to finish the transcripts today or tomorrow. Whenever it feels good.
This is usually my process. I will usually go over a piece of information three to four times before I'm ready to actually start taking action on it. It's kind of like I need to feel it through in my process, and so I want to get involved in the information. This is probably why the variables content hasn't really come through me the way that I wanted it to is because while I've experimented with it and kind of dedicated a period of time towards working with it twice before, this will be the third time that I'm really dedicating to it, which seems to fit with my process. This is the third layer. This is the third try, and this is where I usually start to actually get information. This is where I actually get feedback.
What I mean by applying this information to my life is I'm going to take a couple of the things that we talked about in that reading, and I'm going to show you what I'm doing with it. My goal is always to create change with the information that I am bringing to the world. We can blame this on my conscious sun, but with my gate 34.6, my goal is to embody change. Gate 34 is about cultivating the energy and cultivating the excitement and that sacral response to life. It's really cultivating the life force energy to build, create, and manifest change into existence, because we have this integration circuitry, which is about seeing separation.
I was talking about this recently on the Sacred Success Live kickoff call that we did, but there's this concept of in order to integrate something, you must first recognize the separation. Integration is taking separate things and bringing them into one. I think about cooking. If you're incorporating the eggs, you're making it so that the eggs don't look like eggs in the mixture anymore. It's not flour and eggs. It's a dough. You have to recognize that at first, the two things are separate. Let’s say you are trying to make pasta, you're not going to be able to make pasta dough if you are just messing with the eggs, or if you've got a handful of flour; you have to incorporate them. I'm just imagining throwing eggs and flour and water and trying to make it turn into pasta. Unless you incorporate them, it’s not going to work. This is embodiment to me. I feel like if you are not embodying, if you're not sharing information that is slightly different than what you learned, you're not integrating it. You're not adding your own spice. You're not adding your own flavor at all, and then what's the point? What's the point of just repeating things that you've learned before?
Now, I know that there's one line profiles out there, and there are lots of people where it's really aligned to be bringing people back to the foundational information, but I still think that you can do it in your own flavor, in your own way, in your own method. You can add your own spice to it somehow. Whether that's just adding different colors, it can be the same information, but different colors presented in a different way and presented in a different energy. Just make it your own; make it authentic.
My point with integration is that I am always focused on, and it's my life's work, this gate 34 and 20 are both big placements for me. My life's work is about integrating things, and the first step of integration is to recognize and accept that the two things that you're trying to integrate are separate in the current moment. If you're trying to go from here to there, you have to recognize that here and there are separate. You are not there yet, and that's fine. It's okay to be both in the present moment, be grateful for exactly what's happening, and want more. It's natural; it's human. It's evolutionary to also want more. Where you are right now and where you want to go is not the same, and as soon as you do this, you're able to see the steps that are going to show up, or the steps that are necessary to get from where you are here to where you want to go.
I was recognizing that I am not where I want to be with my embodiment of the variables content, and my environment's not where I want it to be. My focus isn't quite where I want it to be. There are a couple of things that are just not quite where I want them to be, and that's fine. I'm always going to be correcting things. That's just a part of who I am.
I'm taking this information and I'm looking at what are the things that she said that really stood out to me. I'm going to take those pieces of information, and I want to create change. If I'm going to be learning about my environment, how can I use what I'm learning about my environment to actually change my environment? I learn information, and I'm usually prompted to dive deeper into a topic. It becomes relevant for me, and I get excited about it. I want to respond to it when it's something that I'm going to need.
The first time I read the variables content was out of curiosity. It was just pure curiosity. I wanted to know everything about human design. The second time that I read it, I was kind of doing it from the space of almost a little bit of force, almost a little bit of like this proving energy. I wanted to dive deeper into it because it was an area that like I saw I wasn't mastered in, and it felt really advanced. I was like, “Oh, well, it's the advanced side of human design, so obviously I have to master that first.” Very mani gen of me, trying to skip steps.
I dove into it again, and I took a lot of notes. I was really trying to grasp it mentally, and it just wasn't clicking again. I'm memorizing the basic facts, and I understand the basic principles, but there's still some things that I need to contemplate deeper in order to really get it in my own language. Since that's my goal, since that's something that I am asked to do very often, it's something that I am obviously checking in on and it’s in my awareness field, so why would I not be checking in on it and seeing if it's relevant?
The information shows up when you're ready to dive deeper into it. When I was ready to dive deeper into the variables content, obviously it showed up for me. My environment is not quite where I wanted to be. It still feels like we're moving in and putting the final touches on everything, so there are a lot of decisions to be made. With an emotional authority, decisions can be overwhelming sometimes. I get decision fatigue when I have to make too many decisions.
I was at a point where I'd energetically gone through all my emotional energy and decision making. I couldn't make any more decisions about my house and the direction that I wanted to go with it, like how I wanted to decorate it, the textures that I wanted, the furniture that I wanted, artwork on the walls, things like that. The things that make it feel like an actual home are those details that are so important for me because of my design.
I am a passive, mountains environment. This passive environment means that my environment has to be relaxing. I have to be able to just relax, and it's not supposed to activate me. It's not supposed to energize me. It's actually supposed to make me feel calm. I wanted to create a calm environment, but everything that I was doing just wasn't quite calming the way that I wanted it to be, even though that calming energy is so important for my nervous system. It's important for the work that I do. It's important for my ability to create and all those things affect me very intensely.
I was recognizing that it's time for me to improve my environment because right now that's the thing that's limiting me. Right now, that's the thing that is just the glaring red flag, so it's the area of frustration. It's my design and my body telling me this is something that is not always making me feel relaxed, so something's off there. All my awareness and all my focus is on this environment aspect, so obviously that's the next step for me. I look at the relevant information. I trust that the relevant information is actually going to show up, and when I'm trying to apply something, I'm looking at my behaviors and my identity.
There are two ways that we can embody and integrate something. In my opinion, it has to do with the actions that you're taking and the energy that you're in. It's kind of like the energy that you're in; energetic work and thought work are very, very similar to me. That's probably because when I'm thinking through something, I'm also probably feeling it through as well. I have that emotional awareness as well. But to me, those are both this identity concept because you have this mental concept, like the thoughts that you think. I put all that in this identity or energetic label, and then everything else is behavioral.
If you want to change the behavior, this is where a lot of people will try to change the behavior before the identity work is really put into place. What happens when you take the aligned action without aligning with the energy and without aligning with the design is you might manifest things really quickly, but if they're not in harmony, you're going to start to reject it after a while.
This is where you're really trying to win the lottery, and then you win the lottery, but then you lose all the money. You did the actions enough; the behavior was correct. You actually got what you wanted to get. You created what you wanted to create, but the identity thing is separate.
Most of the time when we're looking at a goal, I see my environment, the actual physical acts of changing my environment. Yes, there's physical actions that need to happen, but I know that the physical actions are going to be pointless unless I'm in the right energy. That's why I'm hesitant to take action until I'm in the right energy; I know it's going to be pointless.
If I start painting the walls in my house random colors, and I just go based off whatever my gut says in the moment, it may not actually be what I want, and it may not actually make me have that calm sensation that I'm searching for in my environment. I have to look at it's not just that I want a pretty house. I want a pretty house that makes me feel a certain way. There's an external experience, and there's an internal experience here. I want to be a person in my undefined G center. I want to receive. I want to be the person who has a really calming environment that's easy to relax in. That's my desire.
I have to recognize that they're separate. The actions are one thing, but the energy that I'm creating, the energetic thing that I'm receiving, is also present in that desire. I'm desiring two things, and I want to look at any information that's possible for me to get guidance on what I can do in my environment. Because undefined G center also doesn't know where to go sometimes. It doesn't know what's me. It doesn't know what direction to go, so it can be a little bit indecisive.
When you're applying your human design, I think that it's important to not try and go in a specific pattern with the information. I don't think that there's one way to go through this information. I don't think that there's one perfect starting point. I think that wherever you're coming from, human design is a tool that can deepen your awareness.
You don’t even have to understand the ins and outs of human design. If you come to human design, and I give you one specific insight around one specific gene key, you have no idea how the entire system works, but you know that one piece of information you might be able to apply that. You might be able to create change in your identity and your behavior with that one piece of information without knowing the entirety of the human design system.
The identity work, when you're creating change in your identity, this is where you're seeing yourself as capable of doing the thing. This is where the thought work, the inner work, the stories we tell ourselves, the attachments that we have to who we've been, who we might be, our potential, our desires, our expectations, when we have those attachments, it's an identity thing, and that can hold us back from creating what we want to create when we're taking the aligned actions, or even if we're taking these aligned actions. The behaviors are going to be the actual physical things that you are doing versus the identity work.
When we're doing identity work and when I'm integrating human design information with my identity, I start to just see myself through that lens. What does it look like to be a 6/2 emotional manifesting generator? That's an identity that I've really cultivated. That's a concept that I can come back to. That's something that I feel really solid in. I feel really solid in my 6/2 emotional manifesting generator, because I've been introducing myself that way for over four years now. I didn't start my human design experiment with that, but I started introducing myself that way years ago. That's an identity that I have built over time, and that's something that I come back to, and that's a comfortable place for me to express myself in is the 6/2 emotional manifesting generator. That's something I can embody when I'm in my undefined G center and don't know what to embody.
We've got this identity piece, and so based off that, I will look at who is that version of me in this environment. So, how does the 6/2 emotional manifesting generator work? How do I relax in that? How does that passive environment style affect me? How does that mountains environment affect me? How is creating that environment going to support the 6/2 manifesting generator? If those two things are connected, I'm really just connecting the current identity that I have, the current concept of who I am, where I am, my identity of where I am, I'm connecting it to where I want to. If the environment where I want to go is this peaceful, calming, passive environment style that really creates this mountains energy, has this touch cognition under it, connected to the feelings of peace and relaxation, if that's what I want to be creating, if that's the desire that I have, I also want to look at how is that actually going to affect me?
If the 6/2 manifesting generator is in the right environment, I'm going to feel safe in my hermit energy. I'm going to actually be able to tune into my energy. I'm going to be able to connect with my inner vision. I'm going to be able to see the things that I need to see. I'm going to be able to relax enough, to meditate, to actually connect with my manifestations. I'm going to be able to channel content. I'm going to be able to feel energized enough to show up for my work fully. All this magic opens up when that environment is aligned. I'm connecting that identity because all this magic is opening up when you fix the environment. All these amazing things that I really desire will happen for me with this environment. This environment really supports me in that energy. I'm not putting pressure on the environment to create the thing that I want to create. I'm focusing on both.
People think that this is really important because when we're doing identity work, we actually want to be creating that internal experience in this moment. In this moment, regardless of what's going on in my environment, I want to find relaxation. I want to go to places that make me relaxed. I want to start cultivating the internal sensations and those internal desires now, as well as doing the physical things to create the actual change that I'm doing. I want to do the behavioral things, but I also want to do the identity things and the internal work and the energetic work.
So, I'm going to intentionally relax more. Even though my house is not quite perfect yet, and there are still a lot of projects that I want to do to make me feel much more relaxed. Yesterday I was able to light a bunch of candles, and I was able to sit in the living room, and just really relax into the silence, the stillness, the colors, the textures, the space, all the things in the space. I was able to really relax into that, and I did that intentionally of just sitting there and being in this relaxed energy and telling myself, showing myself that I am in an environment that is very relaxing. I have already created an environment that supports me in feeling this way. I’ve already done this. I’ve already done this. I’ve already done this.
I just look for the proof that I can already create this, and there's a piece of my identity that's also constantly working on the future. I'm constantly planting seeds that I know will come to fruition later. I'm not focused on instant gratification, and this is an identity thing. I see myself as somebody who is constantly making improvements. I see myself as someone who is constantly making improvements on themselves. I see my myself as always growing. So anytime I'm taking the actions to grow, that's this thing that I will recognize myself for is like, "Look, you're doing the meditation thing. You're doing the journaling thing. Look, you're doing this thing," because even though I've been journaling for like eight years, I still sometimes have this voice in my head that says like, you're not journaling enough, or you're not consistent enough, or like you kind of do the practices, but you're not really that kind of person. There are still parts of my identity that will reject me as that person. I create consistency within my identity by showing myself every single time I am showing up in that energy. I say, “Look, this is what I'm doing, and so that's that focus that's really important for me,” and paying attention to things intentionally.
The identity and behavioral work are the stories you're telling yourself and the internal experience that you're having, regardless of the situation that's outside of you. When I'm applying new things from my design to my life, I will look at that information against my identity, and then I will start to look at and label the feelings that I have with that identity. If I go out to the marketplace and I am in a very like marketsy environment, I will look at how does my body feel in this environment? That makes sense that I have this tension in my body whenever I'm around lots of people. That makes sense to me because my ideal environment is very separated from the people around me. It's like a step back. It's on the mountaintop, looking out, being able to see everything, being able to observe everything, but not feeling like I'm being watched. That's the internal experience.
I'll start to relate the internal experience to the identity of having this mountains environment, like, “Oh, that's so me.” I can get into that energy. I can play with that because that's what I'm here to explore. In my undefined G center, I'm here to explore the concept of identity. I'm here to explore who I get to be with the different things that I create, with the different feelings that I have, with the different thoughts that I have, with the different desires that I have. All the different things that I do, I'm experiencing who I get to be. That's the thing that I receive. That's why identity work is really important to me.
The behavioral thing is I am physically changing my environment to reflect my human design. When Vaness mentioned that there's an element in my variables that talks about texture and touch and creating an environment that feels really good with my hands, with my skin, it made a lot more sense why comfort has always been such a high value for me. I am very touch sensitive.
As an example, we have this one blanket that was on the couch, and I was wearing shorts and put it over my legs. I said, "I can't touch this. I cannot use this blanket. No," and I handed it to my husband so that he could use it, and I took the soft one. It was so scratchy, and he's like, "Oh, it's not a big deal to me," but touch and textures and that feeling sensation, things against my skin, it's very important to me.
I am much more conscious about how things feel in my environment, but she also suggested adding texture, so I've added curtains everywhere. I brought in more artwork. I like textured artwork, so I'm adding more of that wherever I can. There's the physical action there, but there's also this identity of allowing myself to be someone who likes texture.
Someone who likes texture in their environment is going to spend more time focusing on how things feel in their environment. I'm going to spend more time at the store going through and touching everything. That's always something I wanted to do. That's always been something I've been drawn to, but somehow this piece, this identity of my environment has this touch aspect to it, gives me this permission slip and this prompt to touch things more intentionally and see how they feel, and allow that piece of information to impact my decision making in the future. Now I feel more confident when choosing the things for my home or choosing elements for decoration and choosing clothing even in the future. That's another thing that I'm going to work on here is my wardrobe. Organizing it, but also maybe moving out of just wearing t-shirts my entire life.
I'm going to be more intentional about allowing myself the time and the space to touch the things that I want to touch, so I'm changing behaviors. I'm changing my decision-making process. I'm gathering more information so that I'm focused on something that's actually important to me. Let's say, if in the future I have to get a new couch, I'm going to be very intentional about the texture of it. I'm going to touch the fabric a lot. I'm going to really feel into it as opposed to focusing a lot on how it looks. I have that inner vision. I think visually with furniture, we also just think about how it looks, but now I'm going to be intentional about how it feels as well.
I'm going to be intentional about spending time in my own home, appreciating, being grateful for, and anchoring into the emotions that are there. Even though I don't have all the things that I want yet in my house, it's still a work in progress, I'm going to spend more time going around and touching the fabrics. I'm going to spend more time appreciating the details, appreciating the textures, appreciating the textiles, appreciating the things that I can physically feel in my home, and that's also going to deepen that identity, deepen that experience, deepen that gratitude in the present moment.
The reading gave me a lot of information, but it gave me the ability to anchor into the things in the present moment to elevate the things in my environment that make me feel better, to use my environment more intentionally, to interact with my environment more intentionally, to possibly make better decisions about things for my environment in the future. I know a lot more, and I feel a lot more confident in the area of environment because of that reading and because of that information.
It's been four days since I got that reading, and this is where I am with my integration. Yesterday, I spent all day changing things in my environment. It started with cleaning. I wanted to touch all the things in my house and clean and make sure that the surfaces felt really good, so I went through, and I cleaned the whole house.
The curtains were big thing this weekend. I exchanged some curtains that I had because I didn't like them anymore. I didn't like the color, and I wanted more texture. I got some based on the texture that they brought into my environment, and then I spent some time intentionally playing with the textures. I even made an Instagram post about it.
With that one piece of information, within days, I have physically changed my environment. I've rearranged the furniture. I have purchased things. I have made upgrades. I have done a whole bunch of physical actions, but it's the identity piece that allowed that to happen. It's the identity piece that allowed me to make the decision in the store and not go up against my conditioning and this energy of like, "Oh no, here's what I want," but this is based off my colors, or this is what people will expect from me, or this goes with things in my house. I'm not caught up in the non-self talk. I'm really excited about, and I'm really focused on, the things that are actually for me. It made the decision making so much easier yesterday. I got so much done because I wasn't in indecision, and because it was simple and easy. I was really able to make my judgements around what's a yes and what's a no, and I credit that to the information and the integration that I've done over the last couple of days.
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