Podcast Episode 32 - Energetics of Magnetism
In this post, we're talking about magnetism and the energetics of becoming magnetic. I think that we have to talk about what it means to be magnetic in the first place, and when I think about magnetism, I think specifically about Gate 15.
Gate 15 is in the G Center, and it deals with extremes. It's the gate of extremes. It has the shadow of dullness that then goes into these energies of empty and extreme. When I think about dullness, I think about the opposite of magnetism. Magnetism is the gift frequency of this gate, and then fluorescence is going to be the highest frequency of this particular gate. When I think about dullness, I think about just something that's lost its shine, such as jewelry. Jewelry will kind of lose its shine if it is used all of the time and not taken care of. The other side of this is empty. If the gemstone is missing, the jewelry is just not quite as magnetic, not quite as vibrant. With dullness, we're looking at how do we create an essence that is not empty? There has to be an internal sensation of fullness and richness that other people can feel from your energy. We're looking to fill the cup, and not being too extreme. Let's say something is fluorescent. Too much of something fluorescent hurts my eyes. It can hurt my eyes because it's too bright, too much, and it's actually something that I want to look away from.
When we're talking about magnetism, specifically in the entrepreneurial online space, along with influencing, marketing, and selling, they're serving a lot of people, and looking at how they can be more magnetic to attract the right people and the opportunities into their lives. How can I find my people? When we're looking at magnetism, you want to create that image, and you want to be creating something that's full. It has substance, but it's not too much to where it pushes people away.
There is going to be this fine line where if it's really magnetic to the right people, it will also push away some people. There is this concept of when you're genuinely in your magnetism, you are also in a state of repelling, because what's going to magnetize some things is going to repel other people. While I may find it fascinating to watch bodybuilder competitions, to just watch people in their prep, or watch people learn about the workouts that they're doing, it's something that I'm drawn to, but it's not something that I desire to put myself into.
When we're talking about sales and marketing, we want to be creating an image that is drawing people in to a point where they do want to jump in. They do want to say yes. They do want the extreme thing that you are offering that they can't get anywhere else. For bodybuilder competitors, a lot of the people that I follow and watch have clients. Their really extreme lifestyle, the long cardio, is too extreme for me at this point in my life. Previously it wasn't. That was the training that was really exciting for me. That was something that really interested me, and I thrived in it. I really enjoyed it, but I don’t anymore. With that extremeness, the same person can have the same level of magnetism, they can be living the same consistent magnetic life, and I may at one point have been really drawn to it and thought that that was everything that I ever wanted, and then based off of the phase in my life, I'm no longer interested at the level of intensity that I once was interested.
With magnetism, I think the first thing that you really, really need to know is that if you are in your magnetism and suddenly someone who has always been attracted to that energy is no longer attracted to it, you're not doing anything wrong. You are not messing it up. You are not attracting a bad situation. You're not putting out weird vibes that are attracting strange, uncomfortable, and awkward situations. Sometimes it might just be that your fluorescence is at a point where you are shining so brightly that they realize they actually don't want what you have, and they're ready to go in a different direction, and that’s perfectly okay.
When I think about magnetism, it's not necessarily an action. It's very similar to the essence of charisma, where it's that intangible it factor that you can't tell what it is, but you feel it. That is the common factor. If you think about the it factor, if you think about just watching someone who's on a good day, like a singer, a performer when they’re in that zone, versus an okay performance for them, they could be singing the same song, doing the same steps, but the energy is different. It's the sensation that's different.
Thinking about dating energy and relationships, when we're talking about creating magnetism, we're drawing people closer to us. As we draw people closer to us, there's levels of intimacy that can happen within relationships. If you're trying to attract friends or even a romantic relationship, you have to start as strangers. You may not know anything about the person, but you like how you feel when you are around them. Falling in love, we don't fall in love with people. We as humans actually fall in love with how we feel when we are around people. When I was falling in love with my husband, it was not who he was. It was not the things that he was doing. It was not the college degree that he was pursuing, or the car that he drove, or the job that he had, it was not all of those things. It was how I felt when I was around him. I felt excited. I felt safe. I had a lot of fun. I felt understood. I felt held. I felt all those things that I was really drawn to, because when I was away from him, I recognized that I didn’t feel the same things that I felt when I was around him.
So, your energy and your magnetism is not related to what you're doing. It does not relate to your brand colors. It does not relate to how many times you're showing up on your social media. It does not relate to your price points, your hooks, or your lead generation strategies. It all depends on how other people feel when they're around you. You can't control how other people feel around you. What you can control is showing up in a way that is magnetic and indifferent.
If you're going to be a truly magnetic person, you also have to be willing to repel. I think about a magnet. There's always this pulling and pushing. The stronger the magnet, the stronger the attraction, but also the stronger the repelling factor. If you're increasing your magnetism, you're also going to be increasing your repelling energy.
You're going to start to get people who may have been attracted at first, but now that you've really turned on your magnetism, it's too bright for where they exist. It's too bright for the goals that they're trying to get. It's too bright for the direction that they're trying to go, so it's going to be a no for them. You get to recognize that as soon as people are starting to say no, that's your sign that the right people are coming. That's your sign that you're in the right frequency. If you genuinely think about it, the people that you're pushing away are probably not your ideal clients. They're probably not the people who would be able to get results from the work that you do, because if you're too much for them in your free content, if you're too much for them in just the small interactions, you're absolutely going to be too much for them in person.
In the online space, we talk about building a trust factor with your audience. You're looking at how you make people feel. People may want to be at different points in their relationship with you. There's definitely people that I like watching, but I don't want to be too close to. I like watching from afar, and that works for me. There are people that I have met that have been really amazing acquaintances, and maybe they do want to be my friend, but I do not want to be their friend, because I don't feel good around them.
When you're preserving your magnetism and when you're looking at building and staying in your magnetism, you also want to look at who you're allowing to be attracted to you and who you're allowing into your world. If someone's coming into your field, it's interacting, and there is a co-mingling of the energy. If you are attracting a bunch of people who are repelling your authentic energy but you're holding onto them, you're wasting so much energy with this push and pull. You're going to waste your energy trying to prove to them that you are magnetic and trying to prove to them that they're just misunderstanding you. You're trying to show them something that they're frankly just not able to see, they're just not attracted to, they're just not drawn to. You don't have to waste your energy trying to make people's opinions about you all line up. Not everyone's going to love you, and that's okay.
You're going to be the villain in someone's story. When I was in nursing school and we were doing clinicals, as nursing students do, you learn practical skills. We do them first in labs, but there is a point for every single nurse where they're going to have to try an IV stick, or an NG tube, or they're going to have to try something that they've never done before. In someone's story, I am the incompetent nursing student who couldn't get the IV on the first try. I am the villain who made their arm bleed for a little bit, or I am the villain who got something tangled, or who made their IV pole just beep all of the time because I was still learning and going through my process.
You, in your process, are going to be a villain in someone's story, just by learning, just by growing, and that's okay. You have to realize that that's also going to happen in the online world. It's also going to happen in your business where as you grow, as you go after the things that you want to go after, as you become really magnetic, people might get mad. They might be jealous. They might not like the way that you're doing it. They might be judgmental.
When you think about people being self-focused, if you're worried about not being magnetic enough, you are worrying about what they think about you, and at that point, you're in your mind. To me, magnetism is an energetic thing. It's your body, your mind, and the overarching energy. I see your quantum chart in human design, your quantum aura, as being that combination of your body and your mind. When they come together, when things are in harmony, that's your aura, and when both of those things are working in harmony, that's when we're able to expand your aura, expand your auric reach, and become widely magnetic. At some level, you are going to be attracted to people who are magnetic because there's something in their energetic field that is communicating to you at an energetic level.
I play with magnetism when I'm out. I always think how can my presence in the grocery store make other people feel better? Maybe it's smiling. Maybe it's moving out of the way. Maybe it's allowing them to go in front of me. There are many different things that I can do to make people feel even just a little bit better when I'm around them. This is your physical state; how you're holding yourself, your posture, the physical things that you're doing.
Another aspect of your state is your thoughts and the things that you are thinking. The things that you are thinking in the inner monologue that you may be having is very important for your magnetism, because if it's self-critical and judgmental, then you're not going to have the confidence to take action. If the voice in your head says, "They're going to think you're weird," before you even open your mouth to say, "Hey, can I squeeze by you," you're not going to ask if you can squeeze by them. That's conditioning that says it's not safe to be seen; I have to be small to make other people's lives better, to make other people's lives easier. The thing is that you exist. As of right now, you have a 100% survival rate, which means that you are existing successfully, I might add. So, why are you not allowing yourself to actually exist?
Every single time I've been to a grocery store, there's been other people, and I have every right to be there. I can take up space, I can ask questions, I can ask people to move if I need to. I don't have to hide, I don't have to be small in my actions in order to exist. You exist in the online space too. You may have ideas that you are hiding because you’re afraid of what other people will think. You can be anything that you want to be because there are no rules around how you get to exist. You take up space, so start taking up space physically and start taking up space energetically.
You have to see yourself in the identity. You have to think about yourself in a way that supports you in being magnetic, so start thinking magnetic thoughts. If you need reframes, you can always just ask yourself, "How can I be more magnetic right now? How can I make people feel better? How can I make people fall in love with how they feel in my world?" Allowing people to fall in love with how they feel in your world is not about gift giving. It's not about showering them with things. It’s actually about just holding space and how people feel.
When your behaviors are in alignment, when you're holding yourself in a way where your posture and your body communicates this essence of magnetism, communicates this essence of confidence, caring, tenderness, and just juiciness, of course, it's going to attract people around you. We have the thoughts. We have the body. In that combination, there's going to be this coherence that creates the overarching aura that is super magnetic, and this is based on how you feel.
If you want other people to feel good when they're around you, you have to feel good. The way that we make other people feel good when they're around us is by being in alignment with ourselves and seeing what we can do to support their alignment. I feel my absolute best when I am responding. If they're giving me things that I don't have an option to feel through, if I'm being pressured to make a decision in the moment, it doesn't matter how much I like that person, I get frustrated. My husband, who is a sacral authority, can tell you this, because even though I adore him more than anything in the entire world, I get really frustrated at him when he puts me in a position where I can't just follow my authority. He knows these things, and we've been able to communicate and improve our communication over the time, but that was something that even though I love him as a person, the interactions that we had pushed me out of alignment, made me feel bad, and it started to cause issues.
You have to look at how you're affecting people. If you want to dive into the human design chart, this is going to be in your definition. Your defined centers are going to be how you affect people. I affect people with a lot. I have seven of the nine centers defined, and how I feel when I'm around other people is extremely important, because it's going to dictate how they feel when they're around me as well on some level. Our energy is communicating in a specific way.
You can also look at your strategy and authority. If I'm responding to something, I'm going to say, "Okay, I'm going to give this back to you, and it's either going to be frustrating or satisfying." Based on the frustration or satisfaction, I will make my next step. If it's frustrating, I'll say no. If it's satisfying, I'll continue, and I will say yes. You can ask questions in a way that supports your energy and supports the people around you. If I am unsatisfied, people can feel it. It puts them in an uncomfortable situation where they don't know what to do, because I have a lot of energy that I'm processing, and I'm processing it in a way that is not working. So, your energy affects your aura.
The body graph shows us how energy is moving in and out of our aura and out of our energy, and if we want to expand our aura, it's actually about expanding our capacity for how much energy we're allowing to come in and move out of us, move through us, in any given moment. If I want to expand my aura, I want to have a bigger impact, I want to look at how I'm impacting people at a bigger level, but I also have to look at a collective level and what the first impression of my energy is. If I come across as somebody who is frustrated, who is forceful, who is really strongly desiring things and pushing them into existence, that's not going to be as attractive as someone who is strong, someone who is dedicated, someone who is in a different energy. Your definition is where you draw people in, and the more you are yourself, the more aligned you are with yourself, the more you allow energy to just flow through those centers, the more magnetic you're going to be.
My satisfaction and pleasure are extremely important, because when people see me in my pleasure, that's one of the big things in my energy that is really magnetic. When I am saying yes to everything that I want to create, and all the satisfaction of doing it my way, I'm doing it on my timeline, that's when I'm the most magnetic. I am super magnetic when I am not worried about other people, what they're thinking, what they're doing, and just allowing myself to create.
Another place where I'm really magnetic is in my emotional center. Being emotionally defined, the emotionality is the top of the decision making hierarchy, and since 50% of the population is undefined emotionally, about half the people that I interact with are going to amplify how I feel and amplify my emotional reactions. If I'm in the grocery store, and they did not have the gluten free bread that I usually get. It would be easy for me to get frustrated, and I could have made a scene with that frustration. People might have overheard me from aisles over. If I wanted my energy to be really impactful, it could have been in a very negative way. Of course, that was not the goal. I wanted it to be in a positive way. I looked around, and then I asked one employee if they happened to be out or if they had it somewhere else. She checked, said that they were actually out, apologized, and that was that. It was a short interaction, but it was my energy and emotions impacting her. If I was super frustrated and I allowed that to cause anger and bitterness and this resentment, I could easily have blamed the person in the situation. She would've felt overwhelmed by my response, and it wouldn't have been beneficial to anyone that was involved.
When we are wanting to expand our aura and have a bigger impact, it deals with how much energy you're allowing to flow through your aura. What this looks like for me is being an emotional manifesting generator, I am going to be responding to everything. When I'm responding to everything and when I am moving emotions freely, that keeps energy flowing through my aura at a really high and large capacity. When I am thinking about increasing my business to growing to a space where it's serving thousands and thousands of people, I'm looking at how can my life positively impact and make thousands and thousands of people feel better? I want to be the person that thousands of people can see on the internet! If I want to be impacting thousands of people, who do I need to be to them? How intimate of a connection do I need to have with them? How can I have a connection where I make thousands of people feel good without having to sit down with every single one of them and make small talk and ask them questions and completely exhaust myself? It’s about how I can make an impact and increase my energy in a way that doesn't decrease or compromise my values, compromise the integrity that I have decided, the boundaries that I have put in place for how I'm going to approach getting where I want to go.
When you're talking about a larger impact, I find that it's more helpful to really just focus on the definition and what you're putting out there to allow that to draw in the people that you're working with. So, we talked about in the beginning, but when we're looking at magnetism, we have that shadow of emptiness, and if there's nothing inside of you, no one's going to be attracted. You have energy inside of you, you're in your definition, you're allowing it to expand, you're allowing energy to move through you, people are going to watch that, and that energetic movement is going to pull people into your field.
Let's sum this up. Magnetism is this essence of being able to make people feel good in your presence by just being yourself. It’s about turning up the volume on who you are. Being a little bit bolder in your actions. Being a little bit brighter in your movements, and not being afraid to take up space because you exist. You have every right to take up just as much space as absolutely anyone in your world, so why not take up lots of space and allow your energy to impact lots of people and interact with lots of people and be as magnetic as you want to be by doing what you want to do and trusting yourself and being as authentic and aligned as you possibly can?
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