Podcast Episode 1 - Welcome to The Energetics of Everything

Welcome to The Energetics of Everything! I am absolutely delighted to be welcoming you to this, because there has been so much anticipation for me, and this podcast and blog have been a long time running. I have been dreaming about this for years, and I've had several failed attempts previously, for launching podcasts, and they've always guided me to the inner work that I needed to do in that moment to develop and step into the version of me that's ready to actually be sharing my message in this particular format. There's been a lot that's led up to the creation of this podcast and blog. We're here; I am so, so, so, so, so excited. I'm so happy, and I'm so relieved that we are here. It's been a long time coming, and I'm really relieved that we are finally here, sharing this message. 

The purpose of this blog post is to give you an orientation to me, to my message, to what I want to be talking about, and my vision, so that if you don't know who I am, if you don't really know my story, you get to know it for the first time. Then I'm going to share a little bit about what my intention is moving forward, and what you can expect as someone who likes to tune in and listen to me talk about all of the things that have to do with energy. 

Let's talk about my story. It's really interesting to hear the stories that people come up with when they don't know actually know who I am or what I do, because I've actually seen false information about me out on the internet, around who I've studied with, what I've done to get where I am, so I'm going to set the record straight. Let's go back all the way to family origins and things like that.  

I grew up in a middle to lower class family, and I'm the second oldest of eight kids. We were very religious growing up, and we were homeschooled as well. So, lots of interesting things and interesting experiences that I've got to work through related to family dynamics. In this family dynamic group, I was very a bouncing off the wild child, taught myself gymnastics, and that led to me being placed in sports pretty early on. I did competitive swimming and competitive gymnastics.  

While I was in these competitive sports, that was my primary source of socialization, because again, we were homeschooled. Growing up, there was financial ups and downs. My dad ran his own company, and so there were good months, there were bad months, and money was always an up and down thing. It was something that definitely caused a lot of stress in the household.  

Let's fast forward to 2010. I'd already been doing a lot of mindset work already, even though I was pretty young at that time, like 13 years old. The first meditation visualization hypnosis that I remember listening to, I was probably 10 or 11, and they were for visualizing certain skills, working through fears as a competitive athlete, working through fears around certain mental blocks around specific skills as a gymnast. So, I got into working around mental blocks and working around limiting beliefs and fears, at the age of 10. I was walking myself through these, and I had a lot of mental blocks as a gymnast to begin with. I'm a fear motivation in human design, which makes a lot of sense now, but there was a lot of fear. There were a lot of skills where I would get hurt, and then I would be scared to throw it again. I've been doing a lot of mindset work and a lot of working through fears and a lot of exposure therapy type things for myself, for a really, really long time. That's been about 15 years, which is more than half of my life; that's three-fifths of my life.  

In 2010, when my dad lost his companies and they filed for bankruptcy, we went through a foreclosure, we lost our home, and we moved across the country. Money became a really cool thing that I also had fear around and also had trauma around, because my parents separated once we moved from the east coast to the west coast here in the United States. Once we were on the west coast, where my parents separated, my mom was then a single mother of eight kids, with no recent job experience because she had been staying home and homeschooling us for the past 10, 15 years.  

She did everything she could. She did amazing in taking care of us, in making sure that we were provided for, but there was a lot of financial trauma, and there was a lot of scarcity, and there was a lot of fear and worry and angry conversations around money. The ages of 13 to 18, there was a lot of money trauma. That really triggered me once I moved out at 18. I was, of course, as a fear motivation, terrified that I was going to end up broke, and I was going to be broke for the rest of my life, and I was going to have to be a worried about, and afraid of not having money for the rest of my life. That was a huge motivating factor into getting a job early, getting into entrepreneurship early. I attracted people who taught me about several different MLMs at the age of 18. I was literally still in high school; I went to high school for one year after being homeschooled, but I digress.  

So, I got into entrepreneurship pretty early on, and around the age of 18, I started listening to personal development podcasts, and entrepreneurship podcasts, and things about money mindset, and money trauma, and learning how to shift your relationship to money. The psychology that I was learning there also led to me learning about deeper things, more spiritual things, like manifestation. I learned about the quantum mechanics behind manifestation, the science behind manifesting consciously and unconsciously. I've always had this secondary education that I've been learning myself and teaching myself forever; for literally as long as I can remember, I've been interested in these kinds of things.  

In college, I used some of my competitive athlete skills, and I tried to do some fitness coaching online since I did have experience as a competitive athlete myself, but also when you grow up in the gym like that, you teach as well, and so I 'd taught a lot of things. I'd coached a lot in my life. As an older sister, I had helped teach my younger siblings when we were all homeschooled together. There's been a lot of this teacher education. It's easy for me energy. I tried to teach fitness things, and that didn't really work out; wasn't really my thing.  

2016 is when my husband and I moved to Missouri. I met my husband in high school, got married, and moved out with him right after high school at 18. That was the start of the listening to personal development, bought crystals for the first time, was using sage, got tarot cards, things like that; started getting into more witchy, more spiritual tools, and learning about them and educating myself on them, while going to college.  

While I was getting my degree, I was curious about testing. Once I got to college, I realized that I'd never really taken standardized tests, because being homeschooled, you can control how that all works and your environment. So, I did what I do best, and that is research, and I started researching, how do we learn? How do we understand things? How do we recall things? That led me to understanding and going a little bit deeper into how the brain works, and how we remember things, how we learn, and things like that. I was using a combination of affirmations, and mindset work, and almost spiritual principles, along with this really grounded in psychology, these techniques for learning and growing.  

Then with my experience as an athlete, I knew how to train myself. I knew how to improve. So, I trained myself to be better in both my mindset and my skillset, so that I could take tests better. At the time, I was not doing well on standardized tests, and I knew that I was understanding the material, but I wanted to be able to recall it so that I could do well on the tests. So, I taught myself how to be good at test taking.  

During this obsession with learning how to take tests, I was sharing some planner type things, and I was sharing some PDFs that I was making. Essentially whatever I was doing with school, I was sharing on Instagram just as a space for me to stay accountable, and then also, maybe someone would benefit from it, maybe one day I could put the PDFs on Etsy. That was literally the big vision was maybe I will to be able to build a following, get some feedback, and put these PDFs of this planner that I've made, where it has a space for affirmations, on Etsy. 

I started doing things like affirmations and a short meditation for before I took a test, and I have little rituals for studying. I just started sharing these things on the internet, and my following started to grow a couple hundred people here, maybe up to a thousand people, I would say. Then, I found the Myers-Briggs personality types, and something about being able to categorize and understand people in that particular way, in that framework, was really, really interesting to me. Very much like me, I got obsessed with that topic, and I got so into the Myers-Briggs personality types, and I did so much research on them. I read like 10 different books on the topic. There's not that many books out there on the topic, but I'm pretty sure I read all of them. I got to the point where after a conversation with someone, I could pick out what their Myers-Briggs personality type was. 

That was really fascinating to me. I figured that there were so many things you could do with that. I was wondering if there were correlations between ADHD and certain personality traits or personality types, and so I was curious about this, and I was asking these questions in my psychology classes.  

In my own research, and since that was something I was interested in, when human design popped up, and human design was something that, to me felt very similar to the Enneagram or to the Myers-Briggs personality types, of course, I immediately downloaded my chart and looked at it. I looked at all these shapes, all of these colors, and I was like, "No, there's no way that I can understand this. This is so much". Mid 2017 was when I first found human design, got my chart, and looked at it. 

There was a specific psychology class that I was in, and human design just kept popping up everywhere for me, and so I finally decided to dive a little bit deeper and to really understand that system. That system became my next obsession. If you've been following me, I started sharing about it publicly on Instagram, I think in late 2018, and then I started doing readings and things like that in February of 2019. 

I spent a couple of years essentially applying. Because I was really interested in how I learned at that time, I was using my human design to structure my day. I was using my human design to learn better, to study better, to create my study methods, to figure out the right methods to study, to trust myself more, to do better on tests, to exercise. I was living in my design and doing this deconditioning work and doing this for almost two years before I decided that I wanted to get outside of myself and start learning a lot more about other people. I started doing chart readings, and they are really how I learned about more people. 

Because I'd gone through it all, but I really only understood me, being able to do free chart readings, that's the first thing that really took off, that anyone really reached out to me for. I think this was my first semester in nursing school, and I put it out on the internet, "Hey. I don't have any extra time, but if you DM me your email address and your date of birth, I'll do a free chart reading for you". I did over 150 of these free chart readings where I would make a short PDF, short slide deck. I would do the research and pour into the textbooks. I would take some notes on it. I was studying the chart, and then presenting it like I would in a study group. Since that was the method that I used for studying all through nursing school, where I would research it, I would learn about it on my own, and then if I was able to teach it in a study group, I was able to get that feedback that, yes, I do know what I'm talking about, and it really solidifies things for me.  

That would be my six line profile, or my 6/2 profile, where I have to understand things first on my own. The two line is very self-reliant, and so I learned on my own, and then I bring it to other people and I can role model it. That's going to allow me to consciously be accessing that information if I'm really in that role model energy. I was figuring out how to use this with all my studying, and then I was doing these free chart readings. From these free chart readings, people were asking me if I did coaching, and so that's how I signed my first couple of coaching clients.  

We did eight sessions. I was charging very little, and I was just teaching them about their chart and teaching them how I had gone through deconditioning it on my own, and I was explaining things, and essentially, studying it along with them. Studying it along with them, helped people to get it more. That's literally the feedback that I got the year of high school that I actually did. But that's the feedback that I got all through college was that when people studied with me, they were in study groups with me, or when I was the TA, or from when I was helping out in the anatomy labs, I made it understandable. I was able to explain it to people in a way that they understand, that made sense, and they were able to recall and remember and access again later.  

This element of 'You are really good at teaching'. 'You're really good at teaching'. 'You're really good at explaining things,' kept coming up. A lot of the times when I'm explaining something, I feel like I'm using an analogy; I'm very visual. I have inner vision cognition. I see pictures. I see images. I see patterns. I see correlations. I just want to make sure that I'm able to explain something in a way that you understand, and that you resonate. I am not afraid to change language, to reinterpret things, to make sure that I am capturing the true essence of what something is, while making sure that you can understand what it actually is. 

That brings me to the readings. That was 2019, I started doing readings. I made, I think two, maybe three digital courses that year, and I made like $20,000. I was ecstatic about that because I did this thing online, and as someone who had money trauma, the ability to be doing something online, be doing something that I wasn't drained by, that I really enjoyed, that I was interested in, really felt like me just studying people and me learning more about people and me learning more about the system, that I was able to make money that way, was very, very empowering.  

In 2020, when I was having a rough time in nursing school, it had gotten to a point where we were all exhausted. If you've gone through a Bachelor's in Nursing program, you understand the clinicals, the driving, the long hours, the early mornings; it was very intense, and I was physically very tired. But I still somehow had the energy to be doing a couple of things here and there with clients; I still had one-on-one clients. I was still occasionally working on Instagram posts. I was still involved in a mastermind, all of these things.  

February of 2020 is when I realized that I was coaching people according to their human design in a way that no one else was doing. I got the nudge that maybe I should create a program where I teach other people what I was doing. Then I was also getting this nudge that I'm probably not going to be a nurse forever. That was a really big and terrifying realization, and so that was really scary. But then in March of 2020, when we went on spring break for my senior semester of nursing school, and then we never went back because we went into lockdown, and I finished my degree online, I all of a sudden had all of this free time. I didn't have to be in these places that were far away, that were environments that I genuinely wasn't happy in; that was frustrating for me to be in. I didn't have to be in hospitals. I didn't have to be studying things that didn't excite me. I was getting my work done very quickly for school, and then spending the rest of my day working on building courses and building content and creating things for my new business.  

After a couple of months of that, we had to study for our national board exam, and I think I spent three days really, actually studying, and like maybe a week total. I did all of the required things for school, but I really didn't do any additional studying. I was pouring all of my time and energy into these courses, and then all of a sudden I started making a lot of money. I went from consistently making $2,000, $3,000. I don't know, I did a $10K in sales, one year, one month, but the person decided to not end up paying on that contract, and I had to learn some boundary things there. But I'd never made more than $3,000 in my life, in a single month.  

Up to that point, $3,000ish was the most that I've made, the most that I've seen parents really make. That was my cap, that's the top of my financial thermostat, so to speak. May was the first full month that I was not in school, I made $15,000, and then the next month it was $20,000+, and then the next month was $40,000+, and ever since then, it has not dipped below that $40,000+. It's been coming up on two years now.  

For me to go from never really making more than $3,000 a month to consistently making $40,000+ a month, and it's more than that now, and it's consistently grown, it was a really big shift. Suddenly there was this identity shift around, "I'm making a lot of money, am I worthy of this? Am I capable of this?" I had the desire of building a company that would allow me financial freedom and would allow me to create this passive income, but it was never this, "I need it to be really, really big right now". 

I wanted it to grow, and I wanted it to be something that I could do alongside nursing, but I really hadn't let myself get past it just being a fantasy. I wasn't actually anticipating it growing that big. I wanted it to, but I unconsciously was still believing that it wasn't going to happen. It grew really, really quickly, and then all of a sudden, 2020 was a multiple six figure year. I jumped from $20,000 to multiple six figure year in very short time. There was a lot of fear that came up. All that fear, that was me when I was a gymnast around, 'I have mental blocks and I can't do this', 'This is scary,' 'I might get hurt,' 'This is going fast,' 'I feel out of control,' 'I feel like I'm going to hurt myself,' all of that came rushing back in.  

I realized that I have a lot of trauma that's living in my body, and most of 2021 was a very reflective time period where I've done so much emotional work. I've done so much inner work. I have done so much mindset work, and there's been a lot of working on my business and not necessarily in my business. It's set up for big changes this year, but I wanted to create something more sustainably, because the business that I built originally was designed to be something that I could run on my own, and I could do a couple of things, while also being a nurse.  

I graduated, I got the degree, I passed the test, I got the job, I spent a couple of weeks at the job, and then was so stressed with "I have this job and I have this company that's doing really well, that was actually growing much faster than I was mentally ready for," so it blew past my comfort zone very quickly, and I had to quit that job. I thought it disrupted a lot of things for the people around me, for my husband, because he thought that I'm going to get this degree and I'm going to be a nurse, and he never really knew anything else, because I was terrified to say that.  

I quit the job, and I've been working full-time as an entrepreneur for really, almost about two years now, if we don't count those couple of weeks, that I worked as a registered nurse. Last year, and there's been several times where I wanted to start a podcast and add the content to my blog, I really needed to do a lot of inner work. A lot of the inner work that came up dealt with self-expression. There's been a lot around sharing my message, around being comfortable, being misunderstood, and recognizing that it's a huge part of my purpose to promote new ideas and to talk about new things and to change things, even though it makes people uncomfortable. 

It is something that I don't take lightly, and I'm very intentional about, so I will continue to show up for this. I've done a lot of work around it. I feel confident with it, comfortable with it, and here we are. We're doing it.  

I would love to share a little bit about the vision for this particular space. In this last year of designing my company so that it is the primary focus, and it is something that I am doing full-time, and it's something that I have a team to support me in, this is, to me, it feels like an entirely new business, as opposed to me and my coaching and doing everything online by myself. I went from this solopreneurship to entrepreneurship, where I'm running a team. I have an incredible support system around me, and I'm not doing everything on my own.  

In this space where I'm not doing everything on my own, I want to make sure that what I am doing is the most potent, the most effective, the most beneficial; I want to get the most out of it, and that's probably the 18-58 channel, the channel of correcting, the channel of judgement is its full name. I'm able to see what is and isn't working, and I really want to make sure that we're maximizing things, and we're getting the most out of it. Thinking about building this company the way that I want to build it so that it supports me being in my genius and it allows me to impact the world in the way that I'm capable of impacting the world, and in a way that's going to catalyze change and help a lot of people in the long term. 

In order for me to really do this, I need spaces to get lost and just be talking. The most potent form of content that I create is when I am just talking and when I don't have a script, and when I'm just allowing the messages to come through me; that's my 34-20 channel. It's my conscious sun and earth; a big part of my energy, my Life purpose, life's work, evolution, all of that is this creative self-expression energy, this mutated of energy, this sharing energy, and it's manifested through my throat center. I'm here to talk. I'm here to share ideas. I'm here to talk about things, and this is a space for me to do that. It's specifically a space for me to do that so that I'm not micromanaging the message, because if I am just talking, I'm not overthinking it, and if I'm not overthinking it, it means that it's going to be purer. That's what I want. That's the best content that I create is when it is just channeled, and comfortable, and I'm just saying what's present on my heart. That gate 20, really strong there.  

I just turned 25, and ever since my birthday I've been in this, I guess it's like my pre-Saturn return phase. As a 6/2 profile, the Saturn return is going to be a big deal for me; I will be climbing up on the rooftop, and it's like the start of a new big chapter for me. I've been feeling called to learn about it a little bit more, study it a little bit more in depth, pay attention to it a little bit more, and it's going to be really interesting. 

My Saturn is in gate 25, specifically it's in gate 25.3, which is the first line, gate 25 is right between Pisces and Aries. So, line three is the first line that's actually an Aries, and so this is an Aries, Saturn return; the Saturn return in Aries. It's like the start of the Saturn return, so I'll be one of the first people that's affected by this new Saturn return type energy, and then it's in my 12th house, which is this unseen mysteries, being prepared for things that are unexpected. It's going to be really interesting, and what I am really, really excited about, and what's been coming up for me lately, is that I've been currently working with human design for five years, which means that by the time my Saturn return hits in about three, I will have over a full seven year cycle of deconditioning, with this system. 

There are very few, I mean, there's none that I know of, I don't know any six line profiles that have a full seven years with the system and full seven years of experimentation, while in their three-line phase. As six line profile, so anyone who's 6/2s, 6/3s, 3/6s, and 4/6s, have this three phase life cycle. The first phase is up to your first Saturn return. You essentially are acting as a 3 line. You have a lot of personal resilience because you're here to gain a lot of experience within that 30 years. There's a lot of trial and error, there's a lot of experimentation, and there's a lot of education. Then you go into at the 'on the roof' phase, where you climb up and you start gaining perspective on everything. You start seeing things in an entirely new light, and you have a lot to reflect on.  

I have been looking at my chart, and I spend way too much time looking at my chart, but studying this Saturn return, and then feeling almost the nostalgia kick in, of in a couple of years, I'm going to be shifting, I'm going to be changing. It's going to be fun, and I'm going to be entering a new phase. As I enter this new phase, I think that it's important to have data for me to look back on and things for me to look at, and so I want an honest conversation. I want a space where I can see my ideas. I can see what I was thinking. I can see what I was teaching.  

I want a space where I can look back and witness myself, in the last few years of my 3 line experiment. I'm experimenting with this platform, and it is something that I've been working towards. I've had lots of trial and error towards, so it's something that I'm still experimenting with, but it's also going to be a place for me to look back and reflect on all of the things that I was seeing, feeling, thinking, contemplating, and going through. 

That's the primary goal with this particular platform. The content that I want to create, you're going to hear lots of stories, lots of personal reflections, because as a 6 line profile, my personal reflections will probably mirror something, some piece of wisdom, some synchronicity of what you were needing. I know that's one of the most powerful ways that I teach, is through sharing my experience, and so I'm going to be doing that as much as possible.  

There are going to be several different sections with this platform. Nothing scheduled, nothing is planned out, but we're going to be talking about everything from an energetic perspective. What that means is you will get behind the scenes of things that I am going through. I will talk things out. I think I want to do some study sessions, so you can listen to me talk out what I'm studying and what I'm learning in human design right now, what gates I'm working with. 

This is a place for me to teach, and talk things out, and create a lot of content that is easy to find and easy to access, and hopefully easy to implement and helpful for you in some way, shape or form. This is a place for me to talk about whatever's on my mind, and I have a lot of freedom here. I want a lot of freedom, I need a lot of freedom, and I'm really excited to see what comes through, what happens, and how this goes. I really appreciate you for being here. I'll talk to you soon! 

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