In the past two years, my average monthly income has grown by over 4000%. I have also gone from a state of high stress, constantly hustling, and on the verge of burnout, to a life where I am getting a full night's rest, taking care of myself, and I have full control over my schedule. Because this shift was so drastic and so quick, my nervous system didn’t quite know how to handle it. This showed up as having all of my money anxiety come up again when I started building a team. All of the sudden spending money made me anxious. I doubted my business structure, and I felt like I had no idea what I was doing.
All of a sudden, I was in my go-to stress response. I lose my appetite, feel nauseated constantly, I sleep extremely lightly, and the only thing that makes me feel better is high intensity exercise. The incredible Shaman I am currently working with suggested a few things to help regulate my nervous system and get comfortable with the amount of money I am currently managing. Essentially, my identity didn’t quite align with my reality. Internally, I still felt the truth of all my money limitations.
I did a lot of identity work. My belief of “Anything over $1,000 is a lot of money” made the tens of thousands of dollars that I was paying to my team and investing in my business per month feel like an extremely large amount of money. So I had to change my definition of what is a lot of money and what I am comfortable seeing go in and out of my account on a monthly basis. I needed to become someone who was comfortable and constantly moves large amounts of money, without my heart rate increasing. The identity work has been the primary factor in regulating my nervous system, but here are some other things I have done as well.
I added more satisfaction. A few months ago, I got the nudge to start reading again for fun. I’m talking fantasy, fiction, and romance books in slightly excessive amounts. Reading engages my mind enough to get my brain to focus on something other than work, and I can just be present. I don’t know about you, but watching TV often leads to me getting lost in my thoughts and worries or scrolling through my phone. By starting reading, I have found myself no longer turning on the TV most days. So I have decreased the amount of time I am spending worrying and in my thoughts, as well as decreasing screen time and bluelight exposure.
I set boundaries around my energy and time. Earlier in the year I did the math and realized that over 100 people had direct access to me and my energy. This only included my family, team, and clients. This meant that at any moment there were over 100 people who could reach out and need something from me, and I was constantly open energetically to others. So I set some boundaries around my energy. I took my work email off of my phone, I cut down my work days, and I started to choose times to check in on my inbox instead of constantly relying on all activities.
I unfollowed everyone on social media. This was both an identity and a behavior change. The behavior was scrolling through social media for way longer than necessary. This was an easy decision once the identity work was solid. I had a lot of judgments about unfollowing everyone. “What if they think I am cold and unapproachable?” didn’t support who I wanted to be. It was what I felt called to do. So that means that it was the correct next step for me. What is aligned for me is aligned for everyone involved. When I am in alignment, I am a role model for others through my 6/2 profile. Whatever action I decide to take gets to be an example and learning experience for everyone, and I was able to convince myself that I could do this.
I took better care of my body. I have always been health conscious growing up as a competitive athlete. Movement, specifically high intensity movement, has been a source of stress relief for a long time. It felt good to feel strong, to push my body, and to challenge myself physically. When I transitioned to working from home full time, I found that the high intensity exercise just wasn’t working for me anymore. It felt like a chore and not a satisfying activity. So I swapped heavy lifting for biking and yoga. My focus has been on getting my energy moving and feeling good, not on a physical result. I’m chasing the satisfaction and the sensation, instead of having an agenda and a specific outcome I am looking to achieve.
I cut down on my caffeine intake. Coffee has been a personality trait for me for a few years. All through college I studied in coffee shops and relied on caffeine to get me through the day (in retrospect this was one of the many signs that I was not aligned with what I was doing). When I started working from home full time, my coffee drinking slowly started to dwindle from 1-2 cups per day to ½ or maybe 1 cup. Making the switch was actually easier than I anticipated. I have tried to quit drinking coffee previously and got all the fun symptoms of caffeine withdrawals. This time I wasn’t letting go of coffee because I thought it was bad for me, I was seeing if it would make me feel better. And it did. That made the decision a lot easier. I have switched to tea and water, and find myself much more hydrated!
I iced my vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is a central part of the nervous system, and plays a role in regulating your nervous system response on a large scale. If you can regulate this nerve, you can regulate a lot of other functions that stem from this nerve. I found this technique on TikTok, and then did some more research to identify why and how it works. A few times per week, I will take something cold and frozen, wrap it in a small towel, and place it on my chest for 10-15 minutes. I just hold it there, usually I will lay down and start reading a book to distract myself. This has a similar effect as a cold shower or dipping your face in cold water. I love this so much because I feel like I have finished a full breathwork session after just a few minutes. It is suggested for times of panic or anxiety, which I don’t necessarily have, but this has been an interesting practice to incorporate!
I released the agenda. I am taking action in pursuit of satisfaction instead of trying to micromanage the results, but the results I am getting are much more aligned. This is what I call, “The Agenda Issue”. When any sacral being (generator or manifesting generator) is focused too much on the result, they are not necessarily aligned with the action they are taking. Because the sacral center looks to put energy into things, the satisfaction has to be found in the process - not just the result. This is my strategy of waiting to respond and following the satisfaction playing out. I felt frustrated with lifting, so I responded, got a Peloton, and searched for the satisfaction. The more I am a role model for my work, the more aligned I am. Walking the walk and coming back to the implementation of my strategy and authority is something I do on a regular basis.
I learned to relax. My unconscious sun in gate 40.2 is a primary factor in taking care of my physical health. The Sphere of Radiance is the inner light that shines through unconsciously. It is said that when you are aligned with this energy, you find yourself naturally drawn to more healthy habits. So I started prioritizing this gate. This is the gate of aloneness, the shadow is exhaustion, the gift is resolve, and the Siddhi is Divine Will. In combination with the line 2 of the hermit, part of what keeps me healthy is being alone and relaxing. Not just resting or recovering, but relaxing. I have decreased the intensity of my life so that I can relax into the life I have created. I have slowed down, learned to be still, and practiced patience. I have also been spending an insane amount of time alone (and I am still not bored with my own company!). This gate is super important for me because it is also in my authority channel - so me being relaxed is a key component of me being able to translate emotional energy into commitment and clear action.
Making and managing large amounts of money doesn’t feel like a big deal anymore. It feels like my normal experience. I feel capable of holding this amount of money because having more doesn’t change who I am. I am not going to become reckless and lose it all, but even if I did, I know that I am capable of building a company to a certain level of success and if I can do it once, I can do it again. This level of wealth needs to feel safe because in my soul I know I am just getting started. This can’t be that big of a deal because in comparison to where I desire to go and what I desire to do - this is small.
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